Spike!!

There are bosses.

There are bad bosses.

And then there’s Spike.

If you’ve seen The Super Mario Bros. Movie, you know Spike: sunglasses, beard, trucker hat, enormous forearms, and the unmistakable energy of a man who has rejected at least three perfectly reasonable invoices before lunch.

Spike owns a plumbing company. Mario and Luigi used to work for him. Things did not end well.

Naturally, this got us thinking about Chicago deep dish pizza.

No, there is no logical connection.

Please stay with us.

Spike looks like the kind of guy who would call a thin-crust pizza “an appetizer.” He doesn’t want a delicate little triangle of cheese. He wants structural integrity. He wants weight. He wants a pizza that requires two hands, a sturdy table, and possibly a municipal building permit.

In other words, Spike needs Rupiani’s®.

A Rupiani’s deep dish pizza weighs approximately two pounds. It has a serious crust, layers of premium cheese and toppings, and our signature sauce on top—where it belongs.

Spike would respect that.

He might not say it immediately. He would probably stare at the pizza for several seconds, adjust his sunglasses, and mutter something like:

“Not bad.”

But coming from Spike, that is essentially a five-star review.

We also suspect he would eat the entire thing directly from the pan while complaining that Mario and Luigi never showed this kind of commitment on the job.

Would he share?

Absolutely not.

Would he order the 3-Pack Sampler and label every pizza “SPIKE—DO NOT TOUCH”?

Without question.

Would he somehow blame the brothers when the last slice disappeared?

Obviously.

So here’s to you Spike: plumber, banker, critic, and completely unofficial Rupiani’s deep dish enthusiast.

Spike, wherever you are, your pizza is waiting.