“Is your landscaping dying in this heat?”

So there I am, minding my business, admiring the glow of my thriving, desert-hardened landscaping — the kind that laughs in the face of 112° — when some guy waddles up, squints at my yard like he’s never seen photosynthesis before, and asks:

“Is your landscaping dying in this heat?”

I looked at him.
I looked at my agaves.
I looked at my flawless xeriscaping.
Then I looked back at him…
… and realized something tragic:

This man had heatstroke of the IQ.

Let’s be clear: Nothing in my yard is dying.
Everything is lush (in a desert-hardened way), well-planned, and not even remotely phased by the sun melting the soles off your flip-flops.

What was dying? His common sense.

Sir, with all due respect: read the room. Or at least read a gardening blog. My landscaping isn’t dying. Your observational skills, on the other hand, are begging for a shallow grave behind a Home Depot.

So to answer your question: No. My landscaping isn’t dying. But if I had to choose between keeping my bougainvillea alive and explaining basic desert survival to you again… I’d hand you the hose and walk away.

In conclusion: If you’re standing in front of healthy plants and still asking if they’re dying, the landscaping’s not the problem. You are.

🌵
Stay cool — or at least stay quiet.